Life hasn't been the same since you went on home to glory, January 3. Three months later, and I'm still having a hard time processing that you're really gone. Yesterday was Resurrection Day....one of your favorite days to celebrate. Also, yesterday I found out that they're making a "Goonies" sequel. Soon as that information was given to me, I went "oh! I have to text her to tell her!" and had that harsh moment of reality, realizing I couldn't.
I still feel very lost without you here. I have so many questions about such a wide variety of topics and...I don't know who to turn to or ask. You know me; I walk around as if I don't have a care in the world and yet sometimes, I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. With your passing, I've put on this stone-cold exterior and I'm afraid of telling someone that the pain hasn't decreased and that the void is excruciating. I know, I know....there are so many awesome and strong women still here that are in my life. It's just an adjustment: you are the one person I could come to with no fear of judgement and for Godly council, advice, wisdom and just sheer, motherly love.
Everyday, I try to make you proud in someway. I kind of chuckled looking at one of my past posts...it was about the time I spent with you when you vacationed here. I was so inspired by you then to be so much greater than who I was....I'm still working on that. Your passing has propelled me more to "go & DO" as you preached last November....to go and bring people to Christ & to be the person you know I have the potential to be.
I miss you so very much. Everyone does. Your picture is on my desk at work and every morning before I begin my work day, I smile in memory of you. Like I said, it's still very hard to believe you're no longer physically with us. I don't know if I ever will believe it or truly process it. You were (and still are) such a significant portion of my life....you're my momma...and I love you always. I pray as you're looking down on me & all the rest of your family and loved ones, that we are making you smile.
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