It comes in waves, this emptiness;
this raw, melancholy ripple
It crashes, it booms, it rushes in and out
leaving my mangled heart, crippled.
I cover up the empty hole
with a grin flashing like big city lights
I will easily smile at you and laugh with the best,
Gritting the lie "everything is alright."
You see, I can't tell you my truth
I can't tell and bare my soul to your ears
For when I do, as people have done,
you will quickly hide and disappear.
So I keep my guard up and keep a smile
and meanwhile deal with it all ON myself
I wear long sleeves, bangles galore
Try as hard as I can to be "stealth."
A little mark here, a bigger mark there
my body has become my canvas, my art
I illustrate my body with my pain, my frustration,
the tears and emptiness I feel in the dark.
Just trying to kill the pain inside
Take the pain from one place to another
Not trying to end my life at all
the empty wave I just want to smother.
I'm a lost cause so just stay clear
This "coping" way has become my cloak
I have to clear out the empty darkness inside
It's my only way to cope.
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